Boston

If you just want to see the pictures, scroll all the way to the bottom.  This will probably be boring to anyone who is not a runner.

I'm not even sure where to begin this post.  Our trip to Boston was amazing, exhilarating, and terrifying at all the same time.  I can't even begin to describe the wide range of emotions I've experienced the last few days.  I am so glad that we had the opportunity to go and I don't regret a second of our trip.  I am still trying to process everything that has happened.  I am hoping that writing some of it out will help me figure out just exactly where my emotions are and sort through some of it.  I am trying to focus on the positive and sort out everything in my head.

You see these things happen on the news and your heart goes out to the victims and those directly affected.  Yes it is terrible and you feel horrible, but you never expect it to directly affect you.  Never, ever did it cross my mind that we would be put in such danger and right in the middle of a terrorist attack while doing something that I love so much.  Even now, days later seeing the videos and images replayed on the TV makes me sick to my stomach.  I can still see myself in the exact place, crossing the finish line, and Matt standing right across the street from where the bombs went off.  He says it still doesn't seem real and for me, it is a little too real.  Seeing those horrific images on the TV is bad enough, let alone the poor people who were actually there in real time.

Running is such a part of who I am and an integral part of my everyday life.  It is my outlet, my me time, my one thing I have that is all mine that can make me happy, secure, and confident.  It is so upsetting that marathon and race running as we know it is going to be changed forever.  I don't know that I will ever be healed enough to run a big city marathon again without fearing the worst.  How happy I am that I got to run and experience Boston before it was changed forever.  I already thought of this as a once in a lifetime experience and now that rings true more than ever.  Boston will never be the same.  Marathon running will never be the same.

The race itself was an indescribable experience.  The people in the race, along the route... WOW is all I can say.  There were points I couldn't even hear my music because people were cheering so loud.  And there are almost as many people running!  You really have to weave in and out to be able to pass anyone.  My Garmin ended up at 26.51 miles, I'm sure from trying to get around people.

Matt dropped me off to the buses at 6:30 a.m. and decided to hang out in downtown all day rather than deal with traffic.  He spent most of his day standing right across the street from where the bombs went off, watching the elite runners cross (so jealous he actually got to see some of my idols run!) and then everyone else throughout the day.   Little did we know that less than an hour after he left a bomb would go off RIGHT ACROSS THE STREET!

I sat by an older lady from Australia on the bus.  This is her 4th of the big 7 marathons.  Amazing!  The bus ride lasted about an hour and then you get dropped off and have about 2 hours to spend in the athletes village before you go to the start line.  There are so many people that run Boston that they start it in 3 waves.  The elite runners get to start first at 9:30 and then they have waves 1, 2, and 3 all starting about 20 minutes apart... fastest runners first.  I was in wave 2 and started at 10:20.  In athletes village I waited in line for the bathroom (twice) for about 30 minutes each, took a few pictures, and ate a bagel.  The time actually flew by!

I made it to the starting line, well not really the starting line, the starting corrals, just second before my wave started.  I was about 3/4 of the way back in my wave so it took about 5 minutes until I crossed the actual starting line/

The marathon starts out in a little tiny town outside Boston.  I can't imagine how it would be to live in one of these towns and have SO many people invade it every year.  It is amazing they can accommodate all the people.

As you go, you wind through several small Boston towns, mostly downhill, and it is hard not to be caught up in the excitement of it all.  One of the pieces of advice I got before the marathon was that if you hit mile 13 and you are tired you are in trouble.  Try to hold back in those first miles downhill to save your quads.  My goal for the marathon was to finish in 3:30 and run negative splits, which means you run each mile faster than the last and the second half faster than the first.

My first few miles were slow in getting started because there were SO many people, but that was ok because it helped me hold back a little in the beginning.  By the time I reached 10K I was feeling great and slowly picking up my pace with each mile.  I was right on track to hit my 3:30 pace but quickly realized I might be able to do it a little faster.  A goal of many marathoners is to hit 3:28 which is an 8:00/mile pace so once I started running that became my new goal.  By 15K I was on track to finish in 3:25 and I was just hoping I could keep up my energy.  I had to stop to go to the bathroom at mile 15 so my splits there slowed down a little since I had to wait probably 2 minutes for a toilet, but overall I ran pretty even with just a slight negative split.  When I crossed that finish line and knew I was close to 3:25 I was amazingly happy.  That is 9 minutes off my time from last year's marathon.  My official time was 3:25:22.  Woo hoo!

You come into the town of Wellesley just after the half way point.  The first time I ran a half marathon I remember thinking there is no way in *#&@* I could turn around and do that again.  I am never running a marathon.  It is funny to think back on that now.  This time, when I hit 13.1 I was thinking alright, half way there you can do this.  Only 13 more to go, go faster :)

In Wellesley, there is an all girls college and though I've heard the stories and seen the pictures, it is something you have to experience to believe.  You can hear the screaming from a mile back.    The girls line the road with signs and shirts saying kiss me I'm....  all sorts of things...  And many of the men in the race stop to kiss each one of them.  It is quite a sight to see.

There are people with signs all along the course.  I wish I would have had a camera to take pictures of them.  My favorite one said "pain is temporary, pride is forever."  I LOVE that quote.  I hope this doesn't sound haughty but that is one of the greatest emotions of running a marathon.  PRIDE.  Accomplishing something you have worked so hard for is such a great feeling!  I think that is one of the things that I am angry about the most from the bombs.  Not only did running and celebrating running a marathon no longer matter, 4400 people who had worked so hard didn't even get to finish!  I would have been so upset!  There was a lady on our flight home who said she was almost to mile 25 when they just stopped all the runners.  They knew something had happened but no one knew what.  They just had to stand there, stopped mid-run, and freeze!  One of the things about Boston is that as soon as you come down into the city there is a freezing wind.  Almost immediately after stopping running you start freezing from being so sweaty to just bombarded by the wind.  I can't imagine how they were feeling!

I'm sure many of them knew they had family waiting near the finish line and then cell phone service quickly became disabled.  My biggest fear with this marathon, even before the bombings happened, was that I was going to get lost in downtown Boston with all the people.  How blessed I feel to have crossed the finish line when I did.  How grateful I am that I was able to find Matt and to be out of the direct area when the bombs went off.  It terrifies me to think about what could have happened.  I was all by myself.  I don't know what I would have done had I been in downtown Boston all alone with no way of knowing if Matt was safe or how to find him.   How lucky we were to be gone!

As the race nears the end coming through the town of Natick, about mile 16, there are several small hills before you reach the famous Heartbreak Hill.  They are short enough that to me they were no issue.  I run hills a lot... there is no way to get around them where we live.  When I finally reached the famous Heartbreak Hill at mile 20 I kept thinking to myself, "this can't be it, I am going to reach the top of this hill and then find myself on another big, long, hard hill."  Nope, not so.  I reached the top and just kept going down down down.  I don't even think I would classify it as a hill, I would call it an incline :)

After you come down from Heartbreak Hill, you begin the decent into the city of Boston.  Around mile 22 you hit Boston College and from there to the finish the noise is deafening.  At mile 17 I was starting to get tired and losing faith that I was going to be able to pick up my pace for the last 5K like I had hoped, but with all the people and noise it is hard not to feel energized.  By mile 22 I had a second wind and felt like I was flying through those last miles.  Because of the wind coming off the harbor I don't think I was going as fast as I thought, but at least I was able to maintain my splits.

The crazy thing about Boston is there are so many people, there is always someone near by running your pace and it is hard to feel like you can or want to quit.  The people really keep you going.  I've been asked several times if it was hard and that is a hard question to answer.  I guess hard is a relative term.  Running 26.2 miles is hard and of course there were times I was tired, but I never hit a wall and never wanted to quit.  I really felt pretty great throughout the whole race, minues the fact that I think I had my laces tied too tight so my feet were throbbing by the time I finished, but I wasn't stopping to fix them... I would have been plowed over!  I was sad to see it end, it is something I have worked so hard for the last few months and it is always hard to see it come to an end, but what an accomplishment it is!  Brookelyn called me just after I crossed the finish line and I almost broke into tears.  It is a good thing I didn't have family there right as I crossed the finish line or I probably would have been bawling.  Your emotions are on such a high after something like that because a) you are exhausted and b) you just accomplished something you've worked long and hard for.  I can honestly say marathon is very quickly becoming my favorite distance!

Turning and coming down Boylston Street is so much fun!  To see all the people there waiting to greet you at the finish and knowing you've completed something you've worked so hard for is such an great feeling.  Matt was standing not far from the finish line and had been most of the day.  Even though he was tracking me on his phone and watching for me when he knew I was close, he still couldn't find me in all the people.  He said he saw my little dot coming on his phone and he was looking looking looking and all of a sudden it dinged and I was done.  I never saw him either.  There are a lot of freaking people!

Once you cross the finish line it comes to a dead stop.  You have to walk through several blocks collecting water, your medal, food, blankets, and the medical tent.  They then let you turn and go down another block to get your race bag from the start and finally you can work your way out to the family meeting area.  It took me 20-30 minutes from the time I finished until I finally found and met up with Matt.

The best we can figure, Matt and I were probably in the Boston Common when the bombs went off.  I finished the race around 1:50.  By the time I found my way out and Matt was able to find me it was around 2:15.  We left and were walking to our car, planning to go back to our hotel and shower and then come back downtown to have a celebratory dinner and go shopping.

Boston Common is less than a mile from the finish line and our car was probably half a mile from there.  We don't remember hearing anything out of the ordinary and were actually in our car on the freeway when we heard news of the bombings on the radio.  Lucky for us, we were staying in a hotel about 20 minutes outside downtown.  As soon as we got to our hotel our phones just started going crazy with family and friends calling and texting to see if we were ok.  Talk about surreal.  We were just where the bombings had happened!

We grew up knowing that we live in a free country where we are supposed to be safe and happy.  This is no longer true.  You can't go anywhere or do anything without fearing something horrific is going to happen.  How grateful I am to live in my little tiny town where I can let my kids play outside and not have to live in fear everyday.  I can't imagine how it would be to live in a country where things like this happen on a daily basis.

The fear of what could have been and what might still be coming still lingers in my mind.  I hardly slept at all Monday night and couldn't wait to just get home and hold my babies.  This was the longest we've ever left our kids and I was so glad that we already had a flight booked out for first thing Tuesday morning.  It was a long night and even longer travel day!  But the relief that washed over me to be home and reunited with my kids was the best feeling ever after all the anxiety and fear I had experienced for the last 24 hours.

My cousin told me that as she said her prayers last week she kept having the overwhelming impression to bless me and Matt to be safe.  I know there were countless others that were also praying for our safety and well being.  Without a doubt I know we were being watched over and more than anything this has truly made me appreciate my life as it is.  Being a mom does get monotonousness and tiring at times but how glad I am that I have this time with my kids and that I get to be the one who stays at home doing the laundry, cleaning the house, and raising and teaching my kids!  I have never been so excited to get back to my everyday schedule in my sleepy little town!

Physically, I feel pretty great.  I've been able to do a couple easy runs.  I am SLOW and I get tired fast.  My legs are a little stiff, but overall I feel like I'm recovering pretty quickly.  Emotionally, I am still exhausted.  I think once I got home and had more time to process everything and feel safe my body just said ok, now I can breathe and rest.  I am sure it will take me sometime to completely sort through all my emotions and find a way to deal with the trauma, but time heals all wounds, right?

I WILL continue running and I will always have a piece of my heart that was left in Boston but how grateful I am for the knowledge we have of the Gospel Plan and the peace and comfort that the Spirit brings in our evil evil world!  

I read this talk today that a running friend of mine who was also in Boston posted.  I loved it and it expresses so well how I'm feeling!  I found great comfort in his words.  President Uchtdorf is a wise man!  He says,

"Healing comes when we move away from the darkness and walk toward the hope of a brighter light...

...There may be some among you who feel darkness encroaching upon you. You may feel burdened by worry, fear, or doubt. To you and to all of us, I repeat a wonderful and certain truth: God’s light is real. It is available to all! It gives life to all things. It has the power to soften the sting of the deepest wound. It can be a healing balm for the loneliness and sickness of our souls. In the furrows of despair, it can plant the seeds of a brighter hope. It can enlighten the deepest valleys of sorrow. It can illuminate the path before us and lead us through the darkest night into the promise of a new dawn...  

...Yes, from time to time our lives may seem to be touched by, or even wrapped in, darkness. Sometimes the night that surrounds us will appear oppressive, disheartening, and frightening.  My heart grieves for the many sorrows some of you face, for the painful loneliness and wearisome fears you may be experiencing.  Nevertheless, I bear witness that our living hope is in Christ Jesus! He is the true, pure, and powerful entrance to divine enlightenment.  I testify that with Christ, darkness cannot succeed. Darkness will not gain victory over the light of Christ."

We can't let the evil people win.  We have to remember there is good in this world and choose to be a part of it! 

Now for a summary of our trip in pictures...

Thursday night when we flew in, we drove to Connecticut to stay with some old friends of ours.  We didn't get there until about 10:00, bad planning.  Sadly, we took no pictures but we had a lot of fun staying up late talking!  Thanks again Ryan and Lacy!

Friday morning we drove into Boston, checked into our hotel, took a nap, and then went to the temple and out to dinner.  There was literally no one around to take a picture of us.  It is just a tiny temple, but so nice to be able to go!

Saturday we went into downtown.  We picked up my race number and packet and then wandered around the race expo.  I spent WAY too much money on Boston running gear :)  But it was SO worth it :)  Matt tried just about every sample they had, the dork, and had a whole lot of energy for the rest of the day!  His only comment was, "you don't see many fat people here do you?"  He is funny.  After the race expo we wandered around downtown, walked on part of the freedom trail, and had lunch at a really good Italian Place in North Boston.  We also made a short stop at Mike's Pastries.  Best cupcakes I've ever had!  Since Matt was just in Boston last year he had already seen most of the sights and insisted on taking pictures only of me.  We did good just to take pictures though, I am not a picture taking person!  I wish we had just one of the two of us together... that was another thing we would have done Monday after the race if we had been able to go anywhere.

Race Expo

Picking up my race packet on Saturday.

My race bib

George Washington Monument

This is Boston Common, probably where we were walking when the bombs went off.

Looking down Boyslton street when we were walking to the race expo.

Sunday we drove the race course (well most of it).  It took us 3 hours!  It was fun to be able to see a lot of the Boston area though.  We didn't get to see Heartbreak Hill because they were doing a race on it.  Crazy people!  We spent the afternoon shopping and went out for a pre-race dinner and then I tried to go to bed early!

My freaking out the night before... what to wear, what to take, what to eat!  (I ended up eating oatmeal, a protein shake, a clif bar, 2 bananas, and a bagel before the race.  And 2 power bar fruit gu and 2 regular gu during the race.  I really had to gag the last one down but knew I'd need it.  The new all fruit gu from power bar are actually really good-- taste like baby food.  I highly recommend them!)

Then it was race day!  The famous Marathon Monday.  By the way... The Boston Marathon is always on Massachusetts holiday Patriot's Day which celebrates the ride of Paul Revere.

  

Athlete's Village, excited to run!  My nerves were gone by this point!

This was around mile 3, I think.  There are 25,000 people that run.  There were truly this many people the entire race.  It is nuts!

These are hard to see, but this is the elite runners coming through.  These are of my idol, Kara Goucher!   The only thing better than running the race would have been watching these amazing elite runners cross the finish line.

Runners coming through the finish line.  There is just a constant stream of people all day.

After finishing, when I finally met Matt.  My feet were killing, first thing I did was take my shoes off.   So glad I had advice to bring warm, dry clothes to the finish!  I actually raced in shorts and a tank top but I was shivering by this point!

Time on my Garmin.  Official race time 3:25:22

Kid's sporting their Boston Gear when we got home.  We were so happy to see them!