I have had these thoughts running around in my head for the last couple of months and I can't seem to get rid of them -- they just keep coming back. I thought maybe if I attempted to write them down I could make sense of them or someone could help me make sense of them and then I might have some peace of mind for a little while. They go like this...
I am supposed to apply for grad school in January to get my masters and become a certified Speech-Language Pathologist. This is something that I knew I would have to do when I started college and chose speech as my career and I was fine with that, I figured it wouldn't be a big deal to do three more years of school... right? WRONG! That was long before I was married and had two kids. Now the thought of going back to school for three years terrifies me. I really have NO desire to do it whatsoevere, expect that if I don't I'll never be able to work as an SLP.
So pretty much my dilemna is this... I wouldn't say I LOVE my job, I don't mind it, but I am also not... for lack of a better word... passionate about it. I could leave it and not be broken hearted. Especially this year, it has been extremely stressful. However, I did set a goal to get a masters degree way back when and if I don't, I pretty much wasted my four years of college because there isn't a whole lot I can do with my degree without a masters. If I don't go back and finish will I regret it a few years down the road?
To add to my dilemna, child care is SUPER expensive in Davis county. We pay almost as much in child care as we do in a mortgage. I work full-time and I really don't make all that much when you add child-care in the figure. I know I don't want to be a full-time mom, I know I would go crazy, but I could also work just two days and make more money by not paying for childcare. Do I wait until next year to do this and keep digging myself further and further in debt, or do I get brave and tell my boss that I'm cutting back after Christmas?
But... I have a hard time making myself ask someone to watch my kids. Is it rude to ask a friend to watch them one day a week and not expect pay or expect very little pay?
Then... Matt suggests I open my own daycare. That is something I know I couldn't handle, but then the thought crosses my mind that I could open my own preschool. The more I think about it, the more this seems like a good idea. I start doing some research and I realize that all I need is a business license. Eventually I would finish my basement, but for now I could do it in my front living room. If I were to take just 2 classes, 2 days a week I'd make MORE than what I make teaching four days a week right now... plus I wouldn't have to send my kids to daycare! I'd get to be home, but I'd still be making an income. If I did 2 classes 4 days a week, I'd almost triple my income.
Seems easy right? Well for now it seems like a no brainer... do the preschool, stay home with my kids, make more money. BUT, what about in five years when my kids are in school? Will I regret starting a preschool and wish I had gotten my masters degree so I could do SLP? Should I just go back to school if and when that happens?
My husband has a great job and is able to support us. I only want to work part time for my own sanity. I hate taking my kids to daycare everyday, especially when Brooke pretends she is sick so she won't have to go. But, I also think the interaction with other kids is good for them. What is more important -- finishing what I started, having a good job, making a good income, staying home with my kids? I really don't know!! I am so back and forth on all of this, but the preschool thing just keeps coming up and won't get out of my head.
Sorry for the long post. Last is my list of pros and cons. Right now I am thinking that I will go ahead and apply to grad school and see if I get in before I make any concrete decisions. If I decide to do it I will probably drop my hours at work to 2 days and possibly do preschool 2 days. Although, I am strongly considering dropping to two days after Christmas anyway if I can find someone to keep my kids. I'd greatly appreciate any thoughts or advice anyone has.
Pros to Preschool
More money
Stay home with kids
Cons to Preschool
Not finish degree
Lose insurance (but Matt still has his)
Might regret it in 5-10 years
Pro to SLP
Finish what I started
Get out of the house
Cons to SLP
Send kids to a sitter
More in debt
Can't have more kids for atleast 3 years
December 2013
12 years ago
Wow, what a dilemma!
ReplyDeleteOk I'm almost done with Grad school so I hope I can help. It has been the hardest thing I have ever done- is it worth it? I think so! After doing my externship in working with kids with hearing loss I figured out that I do love what I am doing. You have to remember that about this field- you have a lot of options to find what you love to do.
But, I think your preschool idea sounds awesome! I taught a preschool/toddler parent group last year and seriously considered doing the same thing. You would be working with children, not wasting your undergrad because you could help them so much with language and speech development, and you could be home. There is nothing that says you couldn't go back and finish your degree in 5 years when your kids are in school. I know it sounds crazy but 4 out of the 13 girls in my program this year are older moms who came back to school and there are probably more than that in the outreach program.
Don't know if that helps at all or just gives you more to think about. Good luck!
I feel for ya, Bobbie. It's so hard because everyone is different. I agree, being a full time stay at home Mom is hard. And you never know what you'll want in 5 years. Like you said, 5 years ago you had no problem with working full time and doing a Masters. And no, I don't think there's anything wrong with asking a friend to help with childcare. If it does make you uncomfortable maybe you could offer a little compensation but obviously it wouldn't be anywhere near what a day care would charge.
ReplyDeleteI also thought about doing a preschool for the exact same reasons. One thing you might want to look into is insurance for the kids in case one of them gets hurt. That might cost a lot. That's what changed my mind.
So here's my advice which you already know. Pray. Fast. Go to the Temple. You, Matt, and Heavenly Father know what's best for you and your family. And we're all here to support you in whatever way that we can.
I don't know if I can offer any great advice. Ultimately its going to have to be your decision and what is best for you. I can only offer some things to consider.
ReplyDeleteI am a full time stay at home mom and I totally feel for you in that getting out of the house at least a few times a week is important for some sanity. I do what I can by planning weekly lunches with my mom, season passes to local places that I can take the kids to break up the day. Thats how I survive it.
A preschool can be a great way to make some money and to be able to stay with your kids....however...working from home may not give you that "out" that you need and get from your current job. It may not be a problem for you, but I know I couldn't do it. If I were to open a preschool I would want to rent a building outside of my home where I could still GO to work, but, unfortunately that is an extra expense that probably isn't worth it.
I also think that you would never regret going back to school. I won't promise that it won't be hard at the time and you probably will feel overwhelmed at times, but I just don't think that in the long run you will look back and regret it. I don't know if it is possible financially for you or with the way your master program is set up, but maybe you could quit your job and stop paying for childcare and take a few night classes a week when your husband is home with the kids. That way you are pursuing your dream to get a masters to work as an SLP and you still get to leave the house and have some time to do things for you.
I don't know if this helps. Everyone is different and everyone has a different situation. I know you will make a good decision for you and your family. Good luck!!
Bob,
ReplyDeleteSome times goals change. I really think you would be great doing preschool. Most important do what is going to make you the happiest!! You have a degree which is HUGE. You have a back up if you ever needed it. I dont think any one could ever say that your degree will go to waste. As much as I have worked so hard to follow my dreams in the last year I realized my dreams are to get out of the house, so I can have some me time. But then when I am home be the best mom and wife I can. In the eternal perspective thats whats important. Especially as hard as Matt has worked he can support you. So let him! Call Wendee if you have questions I don't think she has ever regreted doing preschool. You set your hours, NO BOSS, just parents maybe they are just as hard. you could definately find some one who needs help paying for their childs school that could help with your kids while they are little. When they get bigger they can just join in and be your helper.
Geesh. Bobbie. You are in a hard spot.
ReplyDeleteI agree, everyone is so different. What may work for one person may not work for you. I was in a similar situation with school. I was all signed up and then found out that, surprise, I was having a baby!! However, I am not near as good of a student as you are so I made the choice to put school off until Brandon graduates so that I can have the time with Savannah before she goes to school. But like I said, you are a better student than I am! So you may be able to take it all better than I could.
The preschool seems like a great opportunity too though. You can always go back to gradschool if you decided you ARE ready.
I agree with whoever else said it. Only you, Matt and the Lord can make this decision. It's a big one, and who better to ask then Him?
Keep me updated! Whatever you choose to do, I think you're great!
Have you got any kids signed up for your pre-school. I saw that you set it up on your blog. I got the impression that was the way you were leaning. I think it is a good idea. Hope it all goes well.
ReplyDelete